Archive for December, 2009
Tiger Woods changes name to Armadillo Forest, Declares Affair Crisis Over
World No. 1 golfer and sneeky bastard love rat Tiger Woods today declared that he had officially changed his name to Armadillo Forest. The move was an effort to combat further suspicion and innnuendo about his numerous affairs. “After all I’ve done for the game, they call me ‘Cheetah’ Woods in the papers? Do they [...]
Tiger Woods hits tree under par
Tiger Woods has denied claims that he repeatedly drove his car into a tree while trying to escape his wife who was angry about affair rumours. “Clearly that’s a lie. I could have hit the tree in one shot and Nike would have sponsored the accident. I’m not a loser like Greg Norman you know.”
Liberal Party Rejects ETS, Burns it, Wraps Ashes in Plastic, Throws it in Ocean Where it Chokes a Dolphin
The Liberal Party, under the new leadership of Tony “Kill ‘Em All!” Abbott, today rejected Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s proposed Emission Trading Scheme 41 to 33 votes in the Senate. “No one wants this pretend tax bullshit, certainly not me, and definitely not any hard working Aussie driving around in a V8 with the aircon [...]
Tony Abbott New Liberal Leader – Kills Malcolm Turnbull and Joe Hockey in Bloody 3 Way Cage Match
Tony Abbott has become the new Liberal Party Heavyweight Champion after a blood soaked violent 3 Way Cage Match this morning. Abbott came out fast in the first round and immediately strangled Joe Hockey with a Brazilian Reverse Sleeper Hold before Hockey could get a punch in. Hockey struggled to escape his grip and retain [...]
