Archive for March, 2010
Ricky Martin Comes Out of Closet and Admits He Sang “She Bangs”
Ricky Martin, the flamboyant 38 year old homosexual Latino singer, has finally admitted he was the artist behind the 2000 hit single “She Bangs”. For years Martin has refused to confirm rumours that he was the singer, even though it was a worldwide number one hit in 412 countries and reaped 34 billion dollars in [...]
Bingle-Fest 2010 LIVE UPDATE – Clarke and Bingle Split, “It’s Over!” says angry neighbour
Human carcrash Lara Bingle and Aussie cricketer Michael Clarke have officially split, calling off their engagement and ending their relationship this morning. The announcement was made in an official statement by the couple’s disgruntled neighbour, Marjorie Paltrow-Brent. “I’m so sick and blasted tired of all the reporters, the hovering helicopters, the damn noisey photographers, the [...]
Bingle-Fest 2010 LIVE UPDATE – Lara Bingle seen using a telephone
Bingle-Fest 2010 LIVE UPDATE Unconfirmed reports are arriving that Lara Bingle, Australia’s favourite slut daughter, has been spotted speaking on a telephone. Details are currently sketchy, but some sources claim the telephone was a late model Uniden XDECT 7055 Triple supplied by Telstra on a HomeLine Advanced call plan. “If reports are correct about the [...]
Lara Bingle Sues Fevola for Making Her Look Like a Bigger Unemployed Bimbo than Usual
22 year old Lara Bingle, who is currently engaged to ruin Australian cricketer Michael Clarke’s life, claims Brendan Fevola’s actions in distributing a semi-naked picture of her has jeapordised her chances of marrying and then divorcing Clarke and talking half of his life savings. “Brendan should have realised that what he did was wrong. He [...]
John Howard Wins ICC Nomination, Cricket Fans Worldwide Scream “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?”
Former Australian Prime Minister John W. Howard has been formally nominated for the Presidency of the International Cricket Committee for the 2012 season. Mr Howard, who is still reeling from his shock loss to Kevin Rudd in the closely run 2007 election, vowed to bring cricket back to its heyday of 1956…
Celebrity Agent Max Markson to Represent Max Markson, Announces Celebrity Agent Max Markson
Celebrity agent Max Markson of celebrity management organisation Markson Sparks has announced a new management deal for celebrity agent Max Markson of Markson Sparks, Australia’s premier celebrity management organisation. “I’m very pleased to finally be able to represent Max Markson” said agent Max Markson today. “Max has been someone I’ve wanted on the books for [...]
Apple CEO Steve Jobs Sacked for Being Underage
Apple has admitted to the use of child labour in several factories used to produce their popular iPhone and iMac computers. After further investigation and global outrage at the admission from the computing giant, Apple instituted mandatory age checks within all its global facilities, including its head office at 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino in California. [...]
