science

This tag is associated with 2 posts

Scientists Rush to Asia to Study Rare Eclipse, Get Laid

Scientists from around the world have been flocking to Asia this week to witness the last solar eclipse of the century. “Due to the extended duration of this eclipse, we will have an unprecedented opportunity to examine in depth how such an event effects wildlife, the human brain, the environment and other planetary bodies.” said [...]

Weapons Maker Lockheed Martin Buys Garnier Laboratory

Lockheed Martin, the largest defense contractor in the world, announced today that they had formally completed the purchase of the Garnier Laboratory from The L’OrĂ©al Group, the world’s largest cosmetics and beauty company. At a packed press conference, Lockheed Martin’s new head of Global Annihilation and Cellular Rejuvenation Technology, Anton Le’Thunderstrike Snr. III, told reporters [...]