sex
Tiger Woods changes name to Armadillo Forest, Declares Affair Crisis Over
World No. 1 golfer and sneeky bastard love rat Tiger Woods today declared that he had officially changed his name to Armadillo Forest. The move was an effort to combat further suspicion and innnuendo about his numerous affairs. “After all I’ve done for the game, they call me ‘Cheetah’ Woods in the papers? Do they [...]
Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta Accuses Lady Gaga of Sexual Abuse
Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta has accused her alter ego, musical celebrity Lady Gaga, of sexually abusing her as a teenager. Germanotta, sitting on an elephant suspended below a hovering pink helicopter, addressed the assembled press conference held at the top of the Empire State Building. She told the gathered media she had instructed her lawyers [...]
Scientists Rush to Asia to Study Rare Eclipse, Get Laid
Scientists from around the world have been flocking to Asia this week to witness the last solar eclipse of the century. “Due to the extended duration of this eclipse, we will have an unprecedented opportunity to examine in depth how such an event effects wildlife, the human brain, the environment and other planetary bodies.” said [...]
